How To Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

In his exploration, David Brooks emphasizes a crucial skill central to healthy relationships in any context—be it family, work, or community: the ability to truly see and understand others. As he reflects, "The older I get, the more I come to the certainty that there is one skill at the center of any healthy family, company, classroom, community or nation: the ability to see each other, to know other people, to make them feel valued, heard and understood."

Brooks contends that despite its importance, humans often struggle with this fundamental act of recognition. Many individuals feel unseen and misunderstood in their daily lives. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to guide us in improving this essential skill. He poses critical questions: What kind of attention should we give to others? What conversations should we engage in? Which aspects of a person's story should we pay heed to?

Drawing on insights from psychology, neuroscience, theatre, history, and education, Brooks offers a hopeful and integrated approach to fostering genuine human connections. How to Know a Person aims to empower readers to become more empathetic and considerate, thereby discovering the joy that comes from truly being seen and understood. Ultimately, Brooks suggests that seeing another person deeply is not only a compassionate act but also a creative one, enriching both the observer and the observed.

This book serves as a beacon for anyone seeking meaningful connections, striving to understand others, and longing to be understood in return—a timely antidote to a society often divided by misunderstanding and hostility.